| Sample Ceremony Page |
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| A Ceremony of Love |
| TRADITIONAL We begin this ceremony by gathering together from all those present, cherished friends and loving family, our sincerest wishes for happiness, our most precious feelings of affection and our fondest hopes for the future, as we offer them to ___ and ___ on this, their special wedding day. _____ and _____ join together so they may strengthen each other in all labor, minister to each other in all sorrow and share with each other in all gladness. Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment as well as a moral and physical union. Marriage has been described as the best and most important relationship that can exist between two human beings; the foundation is made of love and trust, the walls spring upward as a single growing energy of life, the top is open for the inspiration that promotes such commitment. This marriage shall be a life-long declaration to the ideal of loving kindness, backed with the will to make it last. ___, Will you take ___, to be your wedded wife/husband, to love, cherish, and continually bestow upon her/him your heart's deepest devotion? If so, answer, "I will". [Repeat] Please hold hands. You are now joined together as husband and wife, from this day forward, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in sadness and in joy, to share your lives together as long as you both shall love. These rings shall be recognized as symbols of your affectionate union. Your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever you go, you will always return to each other. Your relationship will continue to grow in understanding and compassion. Your home longs to become such a place of peace that those who visit there will feel only your quality friendship and love. We all join in declaring that these rings symbolize the spirit of love in your hearts. ___, In placing this ring on ___'s finger, repeat after me: "___, I give you this ring as a pledge of my love and as a symbol of our unity". [Repeat] In as much as ___ and ___ have consented together in marriage before this company; have pledged their faith and declared their unity by the giving and receiving of rings, they are now joined in mutual devotion and lawful marriage. By the authority vested in me, but most of all by the power of your own love, I pronounce you husband and wife, together. |
| ZEN We have come together for the marriage of ___ and ___. May they continue to deepen their life with each other and with all sentient beings. Marriage begins in the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for in joining ourselves to one another we join ourselves to the unknown. May I extend my joy to you on this happy occasion. ___ and ___, you are about to take a new step forward into life. This day is made possible not only because of your love for each other, but through the grace of your parents and of the whole society. It is my hope that your fulfillment and joy in each other and in yourselves will increase with every passing year. [Poem of your choosing] Courtesy and consideration, even in anger and adversity, are the seeds of compassion. Love is the fruit of compassion. Trust, love, and respect are the sustaining virtues of marriage. They enable us to learn from each situation, and help us to realize that everywhere we turn we meet ourself. We nourish ourselves and each other in living by the following five precepts:
to appear. *We take full responsibility for our own life, in all its infinite dimensions. *We affirm our trust in the honesty and wisdom of our own body, which with our love and reverence always shows us the true way. *We are committed to embrace all parts of our self, including our deepest fears and shadows, so that they can be transformed into light. *We affirm our willingness to keep our heart open, even in the midst of great pain. Now ___ and ___ celebrate their love and proclaim their union with rings of precious metal. The precious nature of their rings represents the subtle and wonderful essence they find individually, through their mutual love, respect, and support. The metal itself represents the long life they may cultivate together, not only in years, but in all the infinite dimensions of each moment they share. Now ___ and ___ will take their marriage vows. I, ___, take you, ___, to be my Wife, in equal love, as a mirror for my true Self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part. I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband, in equal love, as a mirror for my true Self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish, in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part. [Poem of your choosing] |
| MULTI-DENOMINATIONAL We are gathered in this beautiful place to witness the joining of ___ and ___ in marriage. While walking quietly on mornings like this looking at birds, at wildflowers, at the wind on the bay, and the hills in the distance they acknowledged their common sense of spirituality, and the growth of their love. It's given them a feeling of timelessness and peace, and a sense of the connectedness to life. They've learned here that falling in love with another person and getting to know them is a little like the exploration of a wild and lovely place. That loving another person can deepen your sense of connectedness to all of life; and the intimacy and surprise of these experiences are a form of reverence and wholeness. It is this that they wanted to share with you, on the day of their wedding. To last, the marriage of these two must be a consecration of each to the other, and of both to the wider community of which they are a part. For the first reading, ___ and ___ have chosen a poem by ___. Who presents/gives the bride in marriage? Bride's Family: We do./She gives herself, and we share her giving, joyfully. [Repeat for Bridegroom] ___, will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in the holy estate of marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, and be faithful to her/him, as long as you both shall love? I will. [Second reading] ___ and ___, it's time to speak the pledges that will marry you. Please face each other. I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband, to be the mother/father of my children, to be the companion of my heart, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. Will you who witness these pledges do the utmost to support this marriage? We will. Rings are an ancient symbol, blessed and simple. Round like the sun, like an eye or like arms that embrace. Circles, for love that is given coming back round again and again. Therefore, may these symbols remind you that your love, like the sun, illumines; that your love, like an eye, must see clearly; and that your love, like embracing arms, is a grace upon this world. Groom/Bride: ___, with this ring, I thee wed. [Third reading] ___ and ___ have chosen each other from the many men and women of the Earth, have declared their love and purpose before this gathering, and have made their pledge to the other, symbolized by the holding of hands and the giving and receiving of rings. Therefore, I declare that they are husband and wife. Let all others honor them and the threshold of their home. May they carry into their marriage the beauty and the tranquility of this place, and keep in it always, the sense of exploration and the peace and intimacy they have shared here. May they find here a good beginning for their married life and the fruitfulness of many years to come. [The kiss] |
| CONVENTIONAL Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; instituted of God in Paradise, and into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Who presents this Woman to be married to this Man? Father answers, "I do", and then steps aside. I read now from 1 Corinthians Chapter 13: Verses 4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. [Bride gives her bouquet to Maid of Honor] Will you please, as an expression that your hearts are joined together in love, now please join your hands. ___, do you take ___, to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage; do you promise to love her/him, comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her/him, so long as you both shall live? Groom/Bride: "I do". [Repeat] [Best Man gives Minister the rings] These rings are a symbol of the unbroken circle of love. The wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond, which unites two loyal hearts in endless love. It is a seal of the pledge you have made to one another. May you live together in unity, love, and happiness for the rest of your lives. [Groom/Bride repeat after Minister] "With this ring, I thee wed". How Do I Love Thee? Elizabeth Barrett Browning How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. [Groom recites personalized version] Apache Wedding Prayer Now you will feel no rain, for I will be shelter to you. Now you will feel no cold, for I will be warmth to you. Now we are two bodies, but there is only one life before us. We go now to our dwelling place to enter into the days of our togetherness and may our days be good and long upon this Earth. For in as much as ___ and ___ have consented together in wedlock, and have witnessed the same before this company, and thereto have engaged and pledged their love for each other, and have declared the same by the giving and receiving of a ring and by joining hands, I pronounce that they are husband and wife. What God has joined together, let no man put usunder. You may kiss the bride. [Bride retrieves bouquet. Bride and Groom face their guests] Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you ___ and ___, husband and wife. |
| Nancy Turner, Wedding Officiant for A Ceremony of Love After creating the perfect vows to share before your family and guests I would be honored to perform your wedding ceremony. |
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| Nancy Turner Wedding Officiant 415-235-4216 Contact By E-mail |
| SPIRITUAL We meet by the sea, so that you may become one by the border of this constant and unlimited force. As these waters are limitless, flowing and ever changing, so is your love. Your love is as eternal as the sea, as all encompassing as the wind and as solid as the earth beneath our feet. Dear friends you are the sea and also the land. It is not your purpose to become each other, but rather to recognize each other and learn to see and honor each other for what you are: each other’s opposite and complement! The commitment you are about to make is an important one. In human relations, to marry is one of the biggest risks. Each must ask themselves what they hope for as their love grows and deepens and how much risk they are willing to take. Because the nature of love is to create, the marriage itself is created, so that, together we become greater. When a life commitment is made it is not a rejection of freedom, but rather a demonstration of how love instead of being ruled by possession, is rather one of participation and co-creation. The essence of this pledge is the taking of another person as lover, companion, and friend. Marriage is at its best when we love and marry our best friend; when motivated by love, we seek the truth in each event and act on that truth; when we grow in understanding and acceptance of ourselves and our partner. This commitment begins in the giving of words. We cannot join ourselves to one another without giving our word. And this must be an unconditional giving, for in joining ourselves to one another we unite ourselves to the unknown. Marriage is founded on sincerity, trust, and a willingness to share and grow. These qualities have attracted you, each to the other, and can best be developed during a lifetime spent together. Courtesy and consideration, even in anger and adversity, are the seeds of compassion. Love is the fruit of that compassion. Trust, love and respect are the sustaining virtues of marriage. They enable us to learn from each situation, and help us to realize that everywhere we turn we meet ourselves. To express the meaning of marriage is a reading by James Kavanaugh - To Love is Not to Possess: “To love is not to possess, to own or imprison, nor to lose one's self in another. Love is to join and separate, to walk alone and together, to find a laughing freedom that lonely isolation does not permit. It is finally to be able to be who we really are no longer clinging in childish dependency nor docilely living separate lives in silence, it is to be perfectly one's self and perfectly joined in permanent commitment to another–and to one's inner self. Love only endures when it moves like waves, receding and returning gently or passionately, or moving lovingly like the tide in the moon's own predictable harmony, because finally, despite a child's scars or an adult's deepest wounds, they are openly free to be who they really are–and always secretly were, in the very core of their being where true and lasting love can alone abide.” Please turn and face each other. _____, will you love _____ without clutching, appreciate her without judging, join with her without invading, invite her without demanding, criticize without blaming and help her without insulting? I will. And do you _____, choose _____ to be your wife; Do you promise to share your life with her as you love, honor and care for her with tenderness and affection, and to cherish and encourage her own fulfillment through all the days and changes of your lives? I do. [repeat] _____ and _____, together please repeat after me each of the following lines:
You choose to celebrate your love and proclaim your union with rings of precious metal. The ring is also an ancient symbol of wedding vows representing your unbroken circle of love because love freely given, has no beginning, and no end. These rings illustrate the long life you will cultivate together, not only in years, but in all the infinite dimensions of each moment you share. _____, as you place the ring on _____’s ring finger, repeat after me: “Accept this ring as a constant reminder of the special bond that exists between us.” [repeat] May your rings always remind you of the power of your love and forever remain an outward demonstration of the inward commitment to your vows while representing the subtle and wonderful essence of your individuality, mutual love, respect, and support. Forevermore, be full of kindness and understanding, thoughtfulness and rejoicing. May you enter into each other’s sorrow with sympathy, into each other’s joy with gladness, into each other’s hope with faith and trust, and into each other’s need with a sure presence of love. I encourage you both to preserve and renew this marriage, to keep it fully alive, to grow and change with one another, to maintain your capacity for wonder and spontaneity, and to remain flexible, warm and sensitive to each other. _____ and _____, may you continue to love each other all of your lives as husband and wife remembering always to be each other’s best friends. In closing, I return to the essence of this ceremony by saying: May your love hold within it the essence of life that is so plentiful here by the sea. So, may your love touch and enrich all those with whom you come in contact, just as these waters touch and nourish the many shores of the Earth! _____ and _____, by the power vested in me, but most importantly by the power of your own love, I pronounce you as husband and wife. Congratulations, you may seal your vows with a kiss! From A Love Symphony-By Arthur O’Shaughnessy “And then I went down to the sea, and heard it murmuring too, part of an ancient mystery, all made of me and you. How many a thousand years ago I loved, and you were sweet--longer I could not stay, and so I fled back to your feet.” |
| See the Alternative Elements Page for ideas on including unique references in your ceremony. Also see the Poetry Page for more ideas. |
| CENTERING Please take a moment, calm your thoughts. Let go of any anxieties and remember the truth: That this is a world filled with beauty, that your lives are filled with possibilities, while your dreams are being born, nurtured and fulfilled. Sometimes there are challenges and sorrow, but greater is your love and joy. The future may be uncertain, but that means that there is no limit as to how beautiful, joyful and successful you can make it. Any anxiety you may have about the future is only an illusion. Let it go. Let if fade away as the beauty and perfection of right now washes over you. The best thing you can do for the future is to live with everything you have in the present. What you have together, right now, is completely as it should be. It is your time to live. Right now, you are creating real, lasting and positive values for your world. You are following your heart. Breathe in the beauty and love that is around you. It is your gift. It is your good fortune. It is yours to live, to experience and to fulfill; right now. Welcome, I am honored to perform this ceremony for _____ and _____ in the presence of family and friends and to share in the joy of this occasion. No words of any other person truly marry each of you to the other; this is accomplished when you exchange your promises and commit yourselves to this marriage and each other. By entering into this marriage you are pledging yourselves to a lifetime in which each partner will enrich the life of the other. You will be partners standing together as one to cushion the difficulties and enhance the pleasures of your life experiences together. Love, Loyalty and understanding are the foundation of a happy and enduring relationship. No other human ties are more tender and no other vows more important than those you now assume. Do you _____ choose to be married to _____? Do you _____ choose to be married to _____? _____, please place the ring on _____’s ring finger and repeat after me: “With this ring, I thee wed, and pledge my constant love. I will hold you in my heart forever.” _____, please place the ring on _____’s ring finger and repeat after me: “With this ring, I thee wed, and pledge my constant love. I will hold you in my heart forever.” Now that you have been joined in solemn matrimony may you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and affection you feel today. May you encourage each other in whatever you set out to achieve and may you continue to love each other all your lives remembering always to be each other’s best friends. In the glow of the forest, in the shadows of the trees, in the fullness of nature, you have offered yourselves to each other as husband and wife. May you continue to change, constantly grow and never cease to invigorate the living thing that is your love while you reach for the skies. By the power vested in me, but most importantly by the power of your own love, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations! You may seal your vows with a kiss! “Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving.” ~ Kahlil Gibran |
| PERSONAL Here we stand in this glory that nature has provided, on this majestic point where the hills meet the sea. This is where you are offering yourselves to each other as husband and wife. Your love is reflected in the sparkling of the light on the waves. As the waves make their endless journey to the shore, may your union continually thrive, until time separates you from the world. At this time _____ and _____ wish to acknowledge their family and friends’ and the significance of the life-giving relationships that they receive from them. Let us who share in this circle of celebration today, be renewed in our own commitments to one another, so that we consciously participate in creating a kinder and ever improving society. Although you all have lives of your own, you are inseparably bound to each other, especially to _____ and _____. In the quiet of this very special moment, we pause and give thanks for all the rich experiences of life that brought _____ and _____ to this high point in their lives. We are grateful for the values that they have found and forged with their own strivings. We are grateful that within each of them is the dream of a great love and the resources to use that love to create a home that shall endure. We are especially grateful for the values that have flowed into them from those who have loved them and nurtured them and pointed them along life’s way. The word ‘love’ is used in so many ways. Within the context of a relationship, you decide that love is first a choice, and then a decision made by both individuals. This decision is the foundation of why we are all here today. We both understand that making this choice to love one other is only the beginning. A human relationship is a duality that is both fragile and strong. In a Jewish ceremony this fragility is sometimes symbolized by the breaking of a glass. Since the bride practices the tradition of breaking glasses frequently at home it was decided that it was not necessary to sacrifice yet another during this ceremony. Drawing off this symbolism though reminds us that this union is fragile and you must be gentle to one another, always. Marriage, more than any other relationship, incites us to try harder, to tolerate one another, and asks that we express ourselves openly without judgment or fear. Love inspires us to live beyond our self, caring equally and wholly for the other. There is gratitude for the completely random way in which you found one another and realized that you shared a similar awareness of the world in which we live. That you walk through life with a similar, indefinable awe and connectedness to one another and to all life. Most importantly, you fell in love with the beauty you saw in one another, a beauty that goes deeper then the surface and fused your souls. For all of your similarities there exist the same number of differences and herein lies the real beauty of your love. Ultimately you both strive to find the humor in life, and try not to take yourselves too seriously. You have proclaimed that the side effects of this marriage may include: laughter, pleasure, pain, jealousy, fear, doubt, pride, sorrow, loyalty, pregnancy, bliss, headache, irritation, itchy skin, and a compulsion to meditate. All of which you have chosen to unconditionally accept, come what may! _____ and _____, no words of any other person truly marry each of you to the other. This is accomplished when you exchange your promises and commit yourselves to each other and this marriage. By entering into this marriage you are pledging yourselves to a lifetime in which each partner will enrich the life of the other. _____, do you now choose _____ to be your wife/husband, to share your life openly with her/him, to speak truthfully and lovingly to her/him, to accept her/him fully as she/he is and delight in who she/he is becoming, to respect her/his uniqueness, encourage her/his fulfillment and compassionately support her/hism through all the changes of your years together? And, _____, will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in marriage? Will you love her/him and give her/him your respect? Will you comfort, honor and keep her/him in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, so long as love and life shall endure? The ring is an ancient symbol of wedding vows as the circle is considered to be the most perfect expression of all forms in nature. May these rings be the symbol of your unbroken circle of love, because love freely given, has no beginning, and no end. May your rings always remind you of the power of your love and forever remain, an outward demonstration of your vows and respect for each other and forever be a public showing of your commitment to each other. _____, in placing this ring on _____’s finger, repeat after me: "I, _____, give you, _____, this ring as a pledge of my love and as a symbol of our unity”. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives, remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight. In as much as _____ and _____ have declared their unity by the giving and receiving of rings; and, by the authority bestowed upon me, but most of all by the power of their own love, I declare that _____ and _____ are now joined in lawful marriage and mutual devotion as husband and wife, together. Your lives are now joined. Wherever you go, you will always return to each other! Congratulations, you may seal your vows with a kiss! When I look in your eyes I delight in your being and when you take my hand I delight in our being together. |
| NURTURE Let us, who share in this circle of celebration today, be renewed in our own commitments to one another so that we may participate in a kinder and ever improving society. The surface personalities of ___ and ___ are completely opposite and one might think that their union is miraculous but the important facts are that they share the common goals of family and security, the mutual desires for companionship with laughter and humor, and the shared morals of compassion and honesty with a united love of nature. They want you to know how fortunate they feel to be able to formalize their relationship before their parents and share with you in the joy of this occasion. We give thanks for the nurture and support of family and friends. Let us, who share in the circle of celebration today, be renewed in our commitments to one another so that we may all participate in a kinder and ever improving society. God will always provide you with the means to create a home - not just a place of private joy and retreat, but a temple where the values of your lives are generated and upheld. May your home, now and always, encompass the beauty of nature while it protects the elements of your belief system with simplicity and exuberance, beauty and color; a home with books, poetry and music, all of which vibrate in concordance with the rhythms of life and the highest strivings of men and women. By entering into this marriage, you are pledging yourselves to a lifetime in which each partner will enrich the life of the other. _____, please repeat after me: “I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wife/husband, to have and hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and cherish unconditionally, and forsaking all others, as long as I live. Please take this ring and be my wife/husband”. You are now two partners standing collectively as one. Together, as a team, everything you wish for can be realized. May beauty surround you in the journey that lies ahead and through all the years to come. May happiness be your companion and may your days together be good and long upon this Earth. Go into the world and fulfill your lives. Adhere to your ideals. Give one another new experiences of joy. Challenge one another so that you may grow. Hold fast to your love as it continues to mature, so your life together may be a source of strength and inspiration to the community of your family and the wider circle of the world. Now that you have joined yourselves in marriage, may you strive all your lives to meet this commitment with the same love and devotion that you now possess. And, may the feelings that brought the two of you together continue to grow as you go forward in your partnership that is now one in marriage. At this time, by virtue of the power vested in me, but most of all by the power of your own love, I pronounce that you are husband and wife. |